sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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