Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
