you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
