yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
