Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
