Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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