2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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