Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
