Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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