im about as happy as oj after his trial
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
