there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
