so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
