Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
