She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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