Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
