I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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