she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
