I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
