I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
