I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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