Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
nutella sex= disaster
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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