Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
