Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
