Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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