he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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