only if we run a train.
done.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
