no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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