talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
