That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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