I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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