Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
