when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
