Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
