Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
