You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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