is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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