so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize