Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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