Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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