Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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