guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
