Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
