i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize