she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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