Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
