You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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