Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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