Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
