my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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