we're chasing vodka with high fives
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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