She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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