That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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