i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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